I'm trying to get on a bit of a schedule with my posts (see left sidebar) in an attempt to be more focused & organized. So today is How-To Tuesday. And of course, I was immediately like, um, what should I post about? Not sure if organization is helping the creative process.
Then I got an email from a blogger friend that I am hoping to feature and I was struck by what she wrote.
"I really enjoy your blog ... it makes me feel like I'm not the only mom out there. It can get lonely being at home sometimes!!!"
Isn't that so true (ok, not just the part about my bloggy fabulousness)? But how lonely and isolating being a mom can be. Someone should have warned me that being a stay-at-home mom literally means you will rarely leave the house. School runs are the highlight of my day. A trip to Target (without kids) is like a vacation.
When I worked, my cube friends provided socialization. So when I quit, I lost more than just the income. And in trying to make new mom friends I felt like a total loser. Like high school all over again. Be my friend? Please?
My little girl was just starting preschool, and it felt like I was the only mom without an established play date network. We had no roster of gym, music, dance, whatever classes. Getting a birthday party invite made my day!
I obviously don't have this figured out - maybe that's why I started a blog, to make "virtual" friends. But since this is "how-to" day, here are some tips:
So moms, your turn to give advice! How do you deal with this? What tips or tactics worked for you in making new mom friends?
- Put yourself out there. I was shameless about asking moms to get together. I took the roster from Caroline's preschool class and pretty well emailed the entire list.
- Go to a park close to your house and get chatty. Talk to the mom pushing the swing next to you. Seems like most moms do the I-don't-see-you-even-though-you-are-right-next-to-me thing. Which totally drives me nuts. If you do connect, odds are they live close by.
- Weekend brunch is great for socializing. It usually doesn't interfere with nap time (unless you have an infant) or early bedtimes. Bonus: people come to you!
- Once you find a mom you click with, see if she can connect you with her friends. I haven't really done this yet, but it seems logical.
- Don't take it personally. If I got the brush off twice, I moved on. On a side note, if someone asks you to get together, SAY YES! You may be one of those moms with the oh-so-packed scheduled but you can make time for another mom.
- Stop feeling guilty about getting a babysitter. If you can afford it, do it. Meet another mom for coffee or make a date to go thrifting.
Labels: how to